Great Email Breakdown: OMJ Service Offer Email

Do your customers know what you do?

It may sound like a silly question, but many businesses forget to actually explain what it is they do in a clear, straightforward manner. Believe me, I’ve been guilty of making this mistake myself.

Learning to explain your service offerings in a sentence or two is an important part of running a business. Once you’ve got that nailed down, you can use it anywhere from social media to your website.

I recently got an email from OMJ, a custom clothing brand, that does this fantastically. So, today we're going to break the email down and learn how you can write a service offer email like this.

Service Offer Email Breakdown

Subject Line

The quotation marks catch the eye, along with the question. It gets you to stop and wonder, “yeah, what can they do?”.

Hero Image

This picture may not look like much. It's just an image without any text. But it paints a picture and helps set the scene for the email to come.

Introduction

The opening paragraph tells you what to expect from the rest of the email. It’s short and to the point, which I appreciate.

Service Offerings

The main body of the email is a nicely designed list of their top custom offerings. Each one has a simple description and an image, which, if you click it, leads to their appointment scheduling page.

CTA

The email ends with another beautiful picture and a CTA to schedule an appointment for your custom piece. Once again, it’s short but effective.

My Overall Review

This is a strong email. It lands in your inbox, does its job, and leaves. If I were to change two things, it would be not to repeat “what can you create” so often and to add more description to each of their service offerings. Just a single sentence to complete the mental picture.

How to Write an Email Like This

#1: Keep It Short

Most people don’t want to read a massive, wordy email while they're checking their inbox, especially from a retail company. OMJ gets that, so they keep this email short while getting the main point across- they can customize anything you need.

How can you share your service offering in a short, but effective email? What do customers need to know about what you do and how you can help them? And how can you share that in under a hundred words? Just remember not to make it too short. That can lead to confusion as well.

#2: Use Images Wisely

This email has a lot of images, which I would normally discourage. But they make them an integral part of the email to show customers visually what they can do. A picture is worth a thousand words, you know.

Make each image you include in your emails count. Weave words and pictures together to create a cohesive result. Pro tip: Resize your images so they load quickly when people open the email. Nothing’s worse than an email that won’t load the pictures.

#3: Include a CTA

After enticing you with all the wonderful customizations they can do, OMJ ends the email with a simple paragraph encouraging you to schedule an appointment to create your own garment. It flows naturally and helps interested customers know the next step to take.

It's easy to forget (or chicken out) of making the ask. You need to include a CTA with every email so customers take action. This could be scheduling a call, making a purchase, or even reading a blog post. Just don't write an email about how you can help them and leave it there.

A service offering email is a powerful tool, especially when included in your welcome series. Try writing one this week and see what you come up with.

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Writing emails like this isn’t easy. That’s why an email copywriter who knows the ins and outs of persuasive writing is a valuable part of your team. Interested in hiring one yourself? Click the button below to learn how I can help.

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